No I want it all.

feeling sick.

so I am getting my career going but, I cant help but feel like i am going too fast.
I really want to go back to school for foreign language, but to go to school work on films and hold a part time job seems killer.
I am ready for a challenge but I've got to think this over a bit more.

other then networking like crazy I am working on my kit, invoices, website, portfolio and basically organizing and trying to assist.
Now cause I am such a workaholic my social life falls a bit flat,
not so much because I refuse to have a 'good night's rest'.
it's deff catching up to me,
getting sick
dizzy
zombie syndrome.
looking and sounding like i am cracked out and lack of personality.

I am afraid I might change to much and forget where I came from and why I am working so fuckin hard to get somewhere.


now my social life, ugh.. lol
i spend more time working with strangers then hanging out with my own friends, therefore I make socialize on set.

love life is.. hahah.
well I am trying to avoid emotional attachment because I dont want to keep getting hurt.
I always end up liking guys with girlfriends, or guys that are long distance.
My recent relationships always end the same way.
short lived and usually empty emotions.


yea kinda lost and lonely right now but who isnt.