Do what I say.

CNV0000241, originally uploaded by Daria Karandashova.

As a coworker/friend complains about seeking a lover or complaining over one, I always respond with the same:

"that's why I am single."

I live by this and am glad I am
at parties or when I out and get to hang out with all these diff people.
but,
I am starting to feel those girly feeling and actually wanna cuddle and do all that girly shit.

know what that means?

more alcohol

I'll make you okay.

Gold, originally uploaded by RengimMutevellioglu.

what an annoying weekend.
some fun moments and some lame pissed off ones.

I want to create, I wanna be blasted, I want to break this routine.
pushing the boundaries.
hating people.

i really can't hang or see the same person for more then 3 times in a week.

drives me nuts.

argg

need more meds..

or a dentist, like now.

i am also annoyed really annoyed

Bike.

Nouvelle Vague Bike, originally uploaded by Federico Erra.

I just wanna ride my bike.
and bake things.
and get trashed at a party.
then go home with some guy, have amazing sex.
then cuddle till we fall asleep.

and ignore the awkward morning aftermath.

wanted you nearer.

LastLeti, originally uploaded by Federico Erra.

tijeras

tijeras, originally uploaded by irana.

si mama

commmbat

sweet.

An amazing ampersand, originally uploaded by Michael Plump.

ampersand.

reminds meh..
i just found out about the Ouroboros
I might get a tattoo of it to match my ampersand or maybe more ampersand tattoos.

well i am getting the flower tattoo forsure though.

hi.

social animals

oh the blood..

I wanna like…………rip that shit off ur nose…. not that it looks bad but just to se YOUR BLOOOODDDD !!!

Mnislahi. says: bwhahah at the comment to my pic.
Mxg(Guts) says:
it looked rip outable
Mnislahi. says:
bwhahaha all that blood
Mxg(Guts) says:
while rippin it out my face would look like my msn pic

fuck.

these pills are starting to take effect.

sigh. i feel numb.
sick.
dizzy.
drugged..

lets call it a day shall we.

Sex and candy.

I love reading the callgirl stories and sending em over to marc so we could laugh at them.
But i totally makes me want some physical attention of some sort.
sex would be nice, passionate kissing would be better.

funny thing is i've had sex about 2 weeks ago but don't remember the last time i kissed someone passionatly and intensly.
I might have been drunk or what not but i could use a bit of kissing, or sex with a not so strange stranger.
seriously though, passionate kissing or cuddling would be ideal.

ohhh and interview thang tomm. wish me luck and hope i dont pussy out and get too shy to ask for work and whatnot..

sweet.

PDVD_104.jpg, originally uploaded by David Zellaby.

I would hit it and never, ever quit it.

without face

without face, originally uploaded by .ultraviolett.

feeling.

Altina.

cause i am a little bit
+punk
+goth
+stoner
+hipster
+indie
+high-fashion
+geek
+arty
+alcoholic
+exotic
+gamer/anime
+internet obsessed
+blogger

yea pretty much.

it's pretty sad that even when i am out and about living my life I am still blogging via my cellphone..
HAW.

now if i can only learn how to blog via cell on blogspot. not on tumblr.
then i'd never be bored and need participate in actual social activities.. like hang out with real friends, or people that live in the same state!
GASPPPP.

NY callgirl

Awesome blog! blog!
I usually don't really "read" blogs I just like to look at the pretty pictures and such but I can't help but want to read each and every entry.
My male friend who knows me very well thinks I am secretly writing this blog.
btw he loves reading the stories too and I've got him hooked [no pun intended.]
It's awesome to know I am not the only total weirdo freak out there.

well it totally made my day and so did.
+talking on the telly with good friends
+cooking yummy vegan things
+my other fav blogger loving one of my fav. songs.

+eating leftover smoothie as yummy sorbet.

uh..

you know you are fucked up/been mentally corrupt by the internets when..

+talking about amputee porn.
+have a 2-3 min conversation about hats and referring it to an Alexander wang hat, and getting a blank look in return.
+referring the internet to "thee internets"
+loss all sense of basic conversational skills.
+you feel more comfortable typing/chatting then actually speaking.


sigh.
i love you internets, but I am having a harder time in real life.

dead arms.

psychoparasite, originally uploaded by careenin.

+I want my tattoo already.
+I feel into mango heaven.
+I think i saw someone i knoew and i think they thought that they saw someone they knew too, why do I guess? that look he had in his eyes and that slight movement of the head as I walked past him.
+I ruined a moment, I think I went unnoticed though.
+buy mace.

arms

Qali, originally uploaded by Federico Erra.

my arms look so weird, and skinny, and they feel boney. they look green and when I stare to long I start to feel like I am looking at someone else's arms.

they don't look like mine,or is it because I rarely look at my arms as a whole.

Sensation felt=Disconnected.

Confession.

, originally uploaded by abless.

After a while I stop going for the food, I go for the company.

characters

Fifteen-year-old Peg believes that everyone is born with certain quotas: their bodies are already programmed with the number of people they'll sleep with, the amount of soda they'll drink, the number of countries they'll travel to. One Tuesday morning, Peg wakes up and realizes she's exhausted her quota of speech.

Eazy Dolly from Jason H on Vimeo.


D8 Ladder Dolly from Hague on Vimeo.

surely this is love.

sigh.

[crecepelo], originally uploaded by pitulineten.

lets move on.

Okayy.

Time to buy Midnight boom.
like MUDAFUCKIN NOW.

and a velvet underground CD.

Sertraline...

should I take what's not prescribed to me?

hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
maybeeeeee, should make my otherwise boring fuckinday interesting, i'll see.

haw

we are 138.

I may not look like much of a punk, metal or hardcore.
But i do appreciate a good thrashing.
:D


k I think I am gonna start watching more old horror films now.

no wow now!

do not talk to me ! i can t hear you !, originally uploaded by mariesoaerial.

there aint no wow now.

lI

0218, originally uploaded by emiliebjork.

i don't really like to list things i like, but oh well.

I am going to try to keep from blogging or updating how things are going on, or what I am doing.

For no good reason.


I liked my closet better when it was empty.
I want to begin my new life.
I hate people.

I like.

to eat
grapes
bananas
zucchinis
carrots
potatoes
cucumbers
avocados
mushrooms
onions
broccoli
beets
spinach
lemons
cranberry juice
water

to listen
the kills
velvet underground
rilo kiley
violet hour
lykke li
lou reed
the pixies
the misfits
feist
metric
the arcade fire
the beatles
portishead
broken social scene
the moldy peaches
crystal castles

to wear
black
skinny jeans
leggings as pants
keds
boots
thirft
vintage
plaid
button-ups
AA
Alexander wang
Ann demeulemeester
Marc Jacobs
Betsy Johnson

to live
white
minimalist
wood
speakers
mac
vintage bottles
cameras
no tv
just internets
just films
books

to watch
films
foreign
obscure
rewind worthy
food network
IFC

things like.
cats
NYC
art
thee internets
cameras
vintage
tattoos
my septum
my family
NUDE
being nude
photographs of naked girls and sending my favs to my friend.

GROW.

Cut Manifactures / Summer Session, originally uploaded by Bob Rifo.

grow hair growww.
now.
Please.

thank you.

Hymn to Merde par Leos Carax
by VMA-ARTMEDIA

VV

The Kills, originally uploaded by Simon Grossi.

just cause she's awesome, and i am in love with her.
and her hawt bandmate is equally as awesome.

The Kills

The Kills, originally uploaded by sophie jarry.

and she's from Florida.

ILU.

The Kills, Fnac Montparnasse, 18-03-08, originally uploaded by fazimel.

adding them to my fav. bands list.

i think i am in love.

happiness

cold cranberry juice for summer natsukashii..., originally uploaded by colodio.

is a tall glass of cranberry juice.

cghlkajhc;sjv's

BCHJDLSHBLVBHDL BCHKDBHVBCSKLDBKLFCB DBJVKLDBJLVBS!

YEAAA i am excited!
been looking at craigslist and googled an article about Bushwick, and yup it's offical.
that's where I need to be.

so I am gonna be searching for apartments in brooklyn in Bushwick or east Williamsburg.
shit's gonna be fuckin awesome!!!

oh yes it's really gonna come true!

YEA!

yis yis yissssssss

it's happening!

i am surrounded.

gential.

, originally uploaded by _Vorfas_.

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.
Salvador Dali

MY KINK FACTOR: I'll try anything once, especially if you beg for it.

sadly it's what I am being reduced to.

I am a giggler.

lovely.

, originally uploaded by unrumoralilarompiendose.

You say your mum ain't home,
it ain't my concern,
just play with me and you won't get burned

I have only one itching desire
Let me stand next to your fire



unfortunalty that not how the night ended.

he drank to much wine.
It was a world record.
great.

while i am planning my shit.
hmmmm.

and getting my shit together is when guys start to get more interested in me.

well i needed to go out anyway.

busy week.

+dentist appointment
+paper time
+pay make-up school
+send high school transcripts
+send college transcripts
+call to change application to fall 09


i had to type it down my mind and my molskinaire is currently too scrambled/mixed up/confused/ over stimulated!!!!


bsjkbhvs;phvjnd ;gjkhvogi['er
HOLYFUCKIN SHIT

I don't even wear make-up.

I AM SOOOO MUDAFUCKIN EXCITEDDDD.

Can you tell?

apart from Obama becoming President
I am going forth with special effects make up
and I found the perfect program for me in NYC!
right on broadway, (which was one of my fav. streets in NYC)
which lasts 5 months, just enough for me to settle into the city and be accepted to SVA, brooklyn, or Hunter colleges.
Also gives me a bit of a heads up in the industry and an extra skill. woot!

I might just be able to move into NYC the time I wanted to and go to school.
it'll cost about 10,000 for 5 months a loan can take care of that right? :/
and hay! it'll be less then enrolling into a university right away.

My goal won't get side tracked because there are may levels to Cinema!
and i am still with my principles of film and real life illusions opposed to ..... digital. eh.
AHHHHH i am excitedd.
but
oh please oh please oh please make this happen!

and fuck all you people who say you can be self taught.
I've just started to self teach myself but I know i could learn and progress sooooo much more with teachers, students and etc.

now once i pay this fee for the school i'll see when i can begin and when I can move and when I can transfer jobs and YUS YUS YUSSSSS

my mind will be focused on ART!!!!
like it always is.

pros to this would be
+another potential career
+potential connections
+fun!

cons
+cost [big factor!]
+time
+difficulty [i love challenges!]
+transport.




now talking this over with the parentals once I get everything situated.

SWOON!

Mnislahi. says: (10:37:22 PM)
i'll bring oxycodine for your pain
yousef says: (10:37:44 PM)
naw
yousef says: (10:37:50 PM)
just bring kisses

_____________________________

yousef says: (10:50:39 PM)
partay
Mnislahi. says: (10:53:54 PM)
in your room
yousef says: (10:56:04 PM)
yes!
Mnislahi. says: (10:56:47 PM)
a private party :)
yousef says: (10:56:57 PM)
:P
Mnislahi. says: (10:57:44 PM)
and you are making french toast in the morning
yousef says: (10:57:58 PM)
mm rad

...

had a nice day but tomms gonna be busy.

+make dentist appointment.
+call NYC school make an appointment for a tour.
+designs
+rough draft to paper.[put in mail box later]

back up plan for school. sign up to a community college and take a few classes.

super.

, originally uploaded by jackson eaton.

Saw him again.
to bad he's going to Europe on friday.


had the best mid-day nap in a long time.

an ideal apartment.

Sandy Lakdar and Monkey the cat, originally uploaded by Kat Walks.

this would be me sitting in my studio/loft in NYC in my undies with my cat.

ah what a shitty view but I don't mind

guys

+the assholes/cheeky fuckers who just want some.
+the fuckers who are extra nice with an underlay message of "i wanna cum on your purty face"
+The nice guys who avoid the subject altogether but are cool to talk too. too bad they are not my type.
+the nice guys who hang out with the fuckers but are really cool, hawt and awesome to talk to but can never have.

i choose the latter of the above.
minus(-) the "but can never have" bit

red light

ponystep , originally uploaded by Kat Walks.

could someone look anymore awesome.

like an african tribe.

smkoee fogs breathing it in.
breathing it out.
freaking out.
running in the forest.
calm down.
let it go.
slow it in.
float.
sway.
sing.
let it blow your mind.
let it blow you away.
feel.


and then i closed my eyes.