sappy sunday

today was kinda of an EPIC FAILERRRR
but i am past the pissed off stage & now i am just... bored so i am thinking of going to sleep.
I haven't been get a lot of sleep and I haven't been eating much of anything.
i am down to a meal a day, which i am not intending to do.
friends who are full of epic fail, and people who flake.
I pissed a few people off the other night by acting a complete fool and telling the truth for once, oh i should know better then to do that!

I am okay now though, i like ruining a good then once it's reached it's peak, like with the boy and now with the friends.
it's reached it's peak and i am going to stop making plans and calling people and start focusing on shit i need to do so I can get the fucks out of this place and start fresh and new in NYC.

goals.begin applications this week for
+Hunter
+SVA
+Brooklyn
+NYU

i am trying to grow out mah hair, but it'll take a year to get to the length i want it at, meh.
ahhh see right now i could be taking a walk in NYC or sitting on a rooftop or just out those stair things looking out into the city and feel amazing.

i want that feeling of relaxation, slight lonely-ness, and complete freedom.
I want that time in the day that is just mine, instead of having it in my room.
I love my room but sometimes i just want to have that large window letting in the city lights.

hmm i need to quit romancing myself with wonderful moments i could be having and think of how i can make it happen.





and the word of the day is SIGH.