diane arbus
clockwork orange
hanging with new people
sleep
Saturday, August 30, 2008
young devotchka
i am home all alone tonight.
family's out of town and no one is ever up as late as I am.
soo off to sleep because i am bored, again.
hanging out with a friend today totally made my day!
A_____A
too bad he's gonna be leaving again for a while.
ughh
Friday, August 29, 2008
Miami
I love you & will miss you dearly.
i will miss the abundance of international hawt guys and crazies.
i will miss your little one armed asian men who call me "boonita" and surprisingly makes correct guesses.
i will miss your russian vintage shop owners who think "russian women are beautiful but just pieces of meat, and that hispanic women are the best"
i will miss the random black man who says that you've dropped your smile, well because you know everyone has one.
but
i will never miss abundance of snotty rich tourists and pompous good looking fuckers that have no heart.
The homeless and crazies MAKE miami you rich assholes just pay for the upkeep.
i will miss the abundance of international hawt guys and crazies.
i will miss your little one armed asian men who call me "boonita" and surprisingly makes correct guesses.
i will miss your russian vintage shop owners who think "russian women are beautiful but just pieces of meat, and that hispanic women are the best"
i will miss the random black man who says that you've dropped your smile, well because you know everyone has one.
but
i will never miss abundance of snotty rich tourists and pompous good looking fuckers that have no heart.
The homeless and crazies MAKE miami you rich assholes just pay for the upkeep.
TILT embracing loneliness
watching movies in my room
mostly with quirky love stories or dark comedies.
especially ones with depressing/lost protagonists.
+fight club
+Royal tenembaums
+lucky number sleven
+you, me and everyone we know
Polyvore
it's quite entertaining and also inspiring and also tempting me.
my baby bangs and a choice to keep them short
and I am starting to believe that my hair is growing out of that awkward length yay!
thinking of NYC
I really am trying to purpetuate this thing forward.
I also think I keep talking about it like i AM going to move to NYC in january so It will acuatually happen, because most of everything I plan to do with people usually never happens, but with this it's all me and no one can really stand in my way to me moving to NYC, I've got some $$ and i am 19 .
Embracing my loneliness & the fact I am a hopeless romantic.
[watching the movies I have been watching doesn't help.]
i love being alone sometimes just being in my room laying on my bed half naked watching a movie what I would usually do, but now with my cute MISO :D who just lays there in cuteness.
but I have to admit i've been getting lonely.
my friends call and text to hang out but I can usually predict if i will happen or not, and i am almost always right, which sucks...
I keep thinking about that guy from starbucks, will i see him again?
most likely since i always go to starbucks every time I work but what will I do when i see him again, prob. nothing but I really hope i say something, nothing weird and stupid please!
I am hoping soon cause this entire week I have been going into starbucks hoping I see him again, but I just end up seeing the other nice guys that work there.
le sigh
another thing i am loving.
BLUEBERRIES.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I am quite liking my little bangs
i think it makes my face "chic'er"?
& having nice eyebrows helps
i think i am going to keep them at this length.
A____A
going to watch royal teneanbaums again, well part of it cause it's getting pretty late.
YAY!! $$ in the bank and i get paid again this friday
SCORE.
DVD's i need to buy.
trainspotting
clockwork orange
royal tanenbaums
darjeeling limited
kill bill 1&2 [wahh?!]
CD's
velvet underground
various soundtracks
Clothing
pants
jeans
skirt
dress
lace tights
buistier anything
long socks
can't wait till winter/fall even though i do live in Florida.
&& wanting move these NYC plans forward!
i am going to slow only because i think it's going to devistate my poor parents& our lack of funds.
I'll make it
i think it makes my face "chic'er"?
& having nice eyebrows helps
i think i am going to keep them at this length.
A____A
going to watch royal teneanbaums again, well part of it cause it's getting pretty late.
YAY!! $$ in the bank and i get paid again this friday
SCORE.
DVD's i need to buy.
trainspotting
clockwork orange
royal tanenbaums
darjeeling limited
kill bill 1&2 [wahh?!]
CD's
velvet underground
various soundtracks
Clothing
pants
jeans
skirt
dress
lace tights
buistier anything
long socks
can't wait till winter/fall even though i do live in Florida.
&& wanting move these NYC plans forward!
i am going to slow only because i think it's going to devistate my poor parents& our lack of funds.
I'll make it
cause nobody loves you.
life has reached a stand still once again.
unaware of what I want to do next, I am feeling a bit lost.
should i take another 2 classes now and move to NYC in January.
all i keep thinking about is if i try to move before the end of this year, is holidays.
It would make holidays a lot harder, cause what goes on during the end of the year?
Everything! and New years eve in NYC , WOW is all i can say. and flights are going to be much more expensive.
But my limit is going to be January. no later then moving in January I don't want next year to begin like this year.
I really don't remember if I did anything until the month of march! how sad.
Another thing that is sad or not really, but
i realized today and accepted the fact that I am always going to be a loner.
Yea I do gain a few close friends once in a while, and it almost comes close to me having an actual "best friend" until i fuck up and do something or just break contact, for me it's just really hard to keep great friends when we both get busy doing things, or move away.
I have never been the type to keep in touch, once in a while on nights like these I text or message or even call someone, but it's really rare for me.
and i know i've mentioned this before in this blog but oh well.
I feel like I should type it out, to remind/ask myself if I always want to be like this.
now What i had predicted a month ago when "my shit was banging" aka I was talking to a few guys, I told my friend
Mnislahi. says: (10:18:12 AM)but i am thinking i prob. wont get any&go back to being lonely
YOUSEF says: (10:20:12 AM)i think i will just end up squandering my chances too.
7/13/08
le sigh, I hate it when my predictions are right.
unaware of what I want to do next, I am feeling a bit lost.
should i take another 2 classes now and move to NYC in January.
all i keep thinking about is if i try to move before the end of this year, is holidays.
It would make holidays a lot harder, cause what goes on during the end of the year?
Everything! and New years eve in NYC , WOW is all i can say. and flights are going to be much more expensive.
But my limit is going to be January. no later then moving in January I don't want next year to begin like this year.
I really don't remember if I did anything until the month of march! how sad.
Another thing that is sad or not really, but
i realized today and accepted the fact that I am always going to be a loner.
Yea I do gain a few close friends once in a while, and it almost comes close to me having an actual "best friend" until i fuck up and do something or just break contact, for me it's just really hard to keep great friends when we both get busy doing things, or move away.
I have never been the type to keep in touch, once in a while on nights like these I text or message or even call someone, but it's really rare for me.
and i know i've mentioned this before in this blog but oh well.
I feel like I should type it out, to remind/ask myself if I always want to be like this.
now What i had predicted a month ago when "my shit was banging" aka I was talking to a few guys, I told my friend
Mnislahi. says: (10:18:12 AM)but i am thinking i prob. wont get any&go back to being lonely
YOUSEF says: (10:20:12 AM)i think i will just end up squandering my chances too.
7/13/08
le sigh, I hate it when my predictions are right.
Friday, August 22, 2008
TILT du deux
1. 范腿, 2. Best Blueberry Pie with Foolproof Pie Dough, 3. Untitled, 4. 0151
I want long hair now.
I have a craving for blueberry pie.
then i made blueberry pie.
I want more.
I would love nothing more then to sit or lay on my white bed and room mid-day and have a slice of blueberry pie as I listen to lovely music.
If i had an entourage I'd love nothing more then to have an off white room with one large white table filled with homemade pies and have a pie party, photographs encouraged.
simple but effective
:D
i
Thursday, August 14, 2008
diane arbus
watching the biography right now and just reminds me of everything i love.
the bizarro/surreal
photography
vintage
cameras
new york
oh and today i was thinking of focusing on photography and swimming
cause i wanna start training myself to surf and build up my portolio with my teacher.
omg! robert downey junior!
soo hawt without all that hair
watching the biography right now and just reminds me of everything i love.
the bizarro/surreal
photography
vintage
cameras
new york
oh and today i was thinking of focusing on photography and swimming
cause i wanna start training myself to surf and build up my portolio with my teacher.
omg! robert downey junior!
soo hawt without all that hair
TILT.
dressing up in rediculous clothing.
it's entirely to much fun just putting on the most inappropriate and tackiest things I own, I am I crazy but some of the ansomebles i come up with are "so bad it's good?"
thinking of New york
planning on applying colleges in NYC and then taking a week to visit them and finish paperwork and then another week to look for apartments. yay!
interview with the vampire
watching it right now in my sister's room.
home cooked meals.
after work all I wanted to do was to EAT! so came home and made pizza, mushroom thing that i make so well. andd i just had some fries.
wanting to watch The Royal Tenenbaums & Trainspotting
i went to blockbuster with my sister but it was closing sooo yea.
having a "me" night
after so many hours and sleepless nights running around with friends it's somewhat refreshing to have a "me" night and do just about everything I love to do inside the house.
it's entirely to much fun just putting on the most inappropriate and tackiest things I own, I am I crazy but some of the ansomebles i come up with are "so bad it's good?"
thinking of New york
planning on applying colleges in NYC and then taking a week to visit them and finish paperwork and then another week to look for apartments. yay!
interview with the vampire
watching it right now in my sister's room.
home cooked meals.
after work all I wanted to do was to EAT! so came home and made pizza, mushroom thing that i make so well. andd i just had some fries.
wanting to watch The Royal Tenenbaums & Trainspotting
i went to blockbuster with my sister but it was closing sooo yea.
having a "me" night
after so many hours and sleepless nights running around with friends it's somewhat refreshing to have a "me" night and do just about everything I love to do inside the house.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
and the word of the day is:Apathy.
she told me she wondered what would happen when they would leave back home.
i wanted to tell her what i really thought [i'd go back to not talking to anyone]
but i just couldn't bring myself to say it, she seems to nice and sweet for me to tell her such things.
instead i said, "i'd be sad."
I really don't mind losing friends because i feel like i can easily make them & it's not like i get entirely to close to any of them.
I do get close but i still feel like they don't "get me" well all of me at least.
and that's why I never tend to keep in touch. I may pop up a few months later and say hi and start chatting again but rarely does it come to hanging out with them again.
so for future/current/past friend's of mine don't take it personally when i don't mind/bother to "keep in touch"
i rarely do.
only one's i have been are marc & tom but marc more.
reminds me i should call tom sat. :D
i wanted to tell her what i really thought [i'd go back to not talking to anyone]
but i just couldn't bring myself to say it, she seems to nice and sweet for me to tell her such things.
instead i said, "i'd be sad."
I really don't mind losing friends because i feel like i can easily make them & it's not like i get entirely to close to any of them.
I do get close but i still feel like they don't "get me" well all of me at least.
and that's why I never tend to keep in touch. I may pop up a few months later and say hi and start chatting again but rarely does it come to hanging out with them again.
so for future/current/past friend's of mine don't take it personally when i don't mind/bother to "keep in touch"
i rarely do.
only one's i have been are marc & tom but marc more.
reminds me i should call tom sat. :D
Monday, August 11, 2008
It's just you and me.
I want a happy friend day like this one!
boo hoo
i miss Tom and our adventures in downtown Miami
mang I wish we could have recorded one of the days while he was down.
or just have another friend I could do things like that with.
&
Something lulu a new fa v blogger of mine had to say.
sounds like something that'd happen to me but only I am a less chic girl and with less good looking guys.
Me: I’m trying something new
Eager Friend: Maybe now that you two are not sleeping together he’s actually started to listen to what you say and finds you intriguing??
Me: Doubt it, but he is the only person who records Gossip Girl
Eager Friend: Hmm maybe he’s realized he’s gay and thinks you are the best person to talk to about it??
&
being completely overdressed for golden corral and the movies[pineapple express niggas]
excuse the crappy photobooth pics.
sad and listless.
me in my mother's reception dress.
she said she wanted it to be 20's styled
things that pull me out of the dumps when i am feeling a bit ennui or downright depressed.
+Popping in Fightclub, Amelie or Pulp Fiction into the PS2. [I could never get tired of these movies]
+seeqpod or itunes [sappy song to frantic chatter]
+giving back love [to the pets that is]
+baking [nothing better then homemade cookies&cupcakes]
+wardrobe remix [come on! it's playing dress up]
+thrifting [looking for rare finds!]
these are instant mood boosters
easily my favorite solo activities.
making this a WorkInProgress. :)
Sunday, August 10, 2008
sigh. must you care.
sigh. why do people seem to be so worried for me, i know they mean only good things and are looking out for me but i think they'd know i am not naive and weak-minded.
i make "bad" choices but i do this knowing all conplications and conquences, that follow my actions.
I am not some brainless silly girl who in just in it for the pleasure. i am well aware of the pain my actions have on my physical, emotion and mental health and not only that but the pain i cause other people to have with my completly fabricated feelings, cheap emtional blows and violent words.
and all i can say to that is.
I don't care.
i really don't.
so to those who are concerned with me and my actions.
thank you for feeling and thinking of me in a way i would never.
but
don't be.
let me be.
because i am well aware of what i am doing, let me fuck up my relationships and life however i choose to do so.
:D
Thursday, August 7, 2008
TILT. :D
finding blazer love <33
i found the most amazingly perfect blazer with super cool golden buttons, slight shoulder pads but i've gotten over that. this blazer is one of my favorites pieces yet. that blazer my gladiador shoes and my shorts are my 3 fav things in my wardrobe as of late.
getting music from my friends
friends coming over and loading my itunes with very good music is soo lovely. So is music inspiration from videos friends post up on myspace.. lets all just spread out amazing music like wild fire and we'd all get happy. :)
intoxication
need i say more, but i do think i need more self control or i need to stop playing ring of fire, seriously.
miso my kitten
she is soo kawaii & i love how she jumps ever so slightly that it looks like she is hopping like a little bunny. and how she jsut runs past chu, and how she sleeps right on top of my laptop and plays with the little cusor.
she is just full of fluffy cute-ness it is cute-ness overload!!
new blog love
finding new blog and more blogs. semi lazy right now to link them so i'll update later.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Auggggg.
likes of the day.
:D
+knowing how to speak spanish
+my sister
+hanging with friends I usually don't
+the maintenance guy
+rock band
+my kitten
+seeqpod
+celeb crushes: James McAvoy & Ewan McGregor [note. they are both scottish]
+Trainspotting
tomorrow i have class and i am deff. planning on cleaning my room.
organizing all my papers, books, things together.
So on Thurs. i can start to get my applications for NYC going.
& buying trainspotting by Irvine Welsh.
:D
+knowing how to speak spanish
+my sister
+hanging with friends I usually don't
+the maintenance guy
+rock band
+my kitten
+seeqpod
+celeb crushes: James McAvoy & Ewan McGregor [note. they are both scottish]
+Trainspotting
tomorrow i have class and i am deff. planning on cleaning my room.
organizing all my papers, books, things together.
So on Thurs. i can start to get my applications for NYC going.
& buying trainspotting by Irvine Welsh.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
july in a nutshell.
+didn't go to Trinidad or Boston
+went to tennessee and atlanta
+got a tattoo
+got a kitten
+got really drunk
+made out with 3 guys
+made new friends
+talked to new people
+lost old friends
+adopted a new hue
+been mistaken for indian quite frequently.
+went to warped tour
I'll update when i remember more.
but to me it was a very social month, it is kinda good i met new people and had lots of fun and new experiences but i want to move forward to my goal as of now.
Moving out of my parents house and moving into NYC alone. or with tom.
it'll be a fresh start.
I'll be a stranger in a strange land but not belonging is my fort-ay.
so august you are going to be the productive&planning month.
+went to tennessee and atlanta
+got a tattoo
+got a kitten
+got really drunk
+made out with 3 guys
+made new friends
+talked to new people
+lost old friends
+adopted a new hue
+been mistaken for indian quite frequently.
+went to warped tour
I'll update when i remember more.
but to me it was a very social month, it is kinda good i met new people and had lots of fun and new experiences but i want to move forward to my goal as of now.
Moving out of my parents house and moving into NYC alone. or with tom.
it'll be a fresh start.
I'll be a stranger in a strange land but not belonging is my fort-ay.
so august you are going to be the productive&planning month.
sappy sunday
today was kinda of an EPIC FAILERRRR
but i am past the pissed off stage & now i am just... bored so i am thinking of going to sleep.
I haven't been get a lot of sleep and I haven't been eating much of anything.
i am down to a meal a day, which i am not intending to do.
friends who are full of epic fail, and people who flake.
I pissed a few people off the other night by acting a complete fool and telling the truth for once, oh i should know better then to do that!
I am okay now though, i like ruining a good then once it's reached it's peak, like with the boy and now with the friends.
it's reached it's peak and i am going to stop making plans and calling people and start focusing on shit i need to do so I can get the fucks out of this place and start fresh and new in NYC.
goals.begin applications this week for
+Hunter
+SVA
+Brooklyn
+NYU
i am trying to grow out mah hair, but it'll take a year to get to the length i want it at, meh.
ahhh see right now i could be taking a walk in NYC or sitting on a rooftop or just out those stair things looking out into the city and feel amazing.
i want that feeling of relaxation, slight lonely-ness, and complete freedom.
I want that time in the day that is just mine, instead of having it in my room.
I love my room but sometimes i just want to have that large window letting in the city lights.
hmm i need to quit romancing myself with wonderful moments i could be having and think of how i can make it happen.
and the word of the day is SIGH.
but i am past the pissed off stage & now i am just... bored so i am thinking of going to sleep.
I haven't been get a lot of sleep and I haven't been eating much of anything.
i am down to a meal a day, which i am not intending to do.
friends who are full of epic fail, and people who flake.
I pissed a few people off the other night by acting a complete fool and telling the truth for once, oh i should know better then to do that!
I am okay now though, i like ruining a good then once it's reached it's peak, like with the boy and now with the friends.
it's reached it's peak and i am going to stop making plans and calling people and start focusing on shit i need to do so I can get the fucks out of this place and start fresh and new in NYC.
goals.begin applications this week for
+Hunter
+SVA
+Brooklyn
+NYU
i am trying to grow out mah hair, but it'll take a year to get to the length i want it at, meh.
ahhh see right now i could be taking a walk in NYC or sitting on a rooftop or just out those stair things looking out into the city and feel amazing.
i want that feeling of relaxation, slight lonely-ness, and complete freedom.
I want that time in the day that is just mine, instead of having it in my room.
I love my room but sometimes i just want to have that large window letting in the city lights.
hmm i need to quit romancing myself with wonderful moments i could be having and think of how i can make it happen.
and the word of the day is SIGH.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
i did it for the lulz
BWAHHAHAHHA!
Favorite article of the day/week :D
1. Do whatever it takes to get lulz. 2. Make sure the lulz is widely distributed. This will allow for more lulz to be made. 3. The game is never over until all the lulz have been had.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?ref=magazine
&&&
this makes me wanna grow my hair out
http://www.chictopia.com/photo/show/6419
But i am trying to get past this akward length.
mehhh
and i am gonna start writing down things that happen in my life and stories I hear and see if i can develop scripts or stories with them.
Favorite article of the day/week :D
1. Do whatever it takes to get lulz. 2. Make sure the lulz is widely distributed. This will allow for more lulz to be made. 3. The game is never over until all the lulz have been had.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?ref=magazine
&&&
this makes me wanna grow my hair out
http://www.chictopia.com/photo/show/6419
But i am trying to get past this akward length.
mehhh
and i am gonna start writing down things that happen in my life and stories I hear and see if i can develop scripts or stories with them.
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