sea of love

This morning was painful. very painful, i just felt like everything was crushing me and I had lost control of my life. I had thought this had been going just okay apparently Things have going worse. 

I had forgotten what I had wanted to do in my life. 

Forgotten or just pushed aside all responsibilities. Like in the last post, I had been living in my own world and I forgot about the other people in it. 

It's horrible to let myself go like that. I need to take care of myself, instead of stupidly "handicapping" myself to gain feelings of sympathy or attention.

What I loved though was sitting in the middle of my bed in my undies with my sheets over my head, Completely engulfed. Although I was saying out loud all my bad feelings and realizing the patterns in my life that I seem to slip back into, I didn't feel terribly bad. It was a good moment, maybe It was because I feel like a kid again.

Well i went to school, wrote my paper about aesthetics, Dada and Classicism to be specific, but that wasn't the best part of the night.

The Best part of the night is that I remembered how kind people can be.

It's as if I had been living under a rock for the past month. I felt so disconnected to everyone, even friends and family, but today I felt as if everyone was my friend.

yea It may sound hippies but frankly I am a modern day hippie with my one with the universe ideas, but seriously I felt one with the universe. ahhah

It's as if everyone was eager to answer and I was eager to help others.

There was no awkward silence or staring it's like everyone was comfortable with talking to one another. I first I thought when did people get so nice.

That wasn't it at all today people were just comfortable with one another that none of us had a problem talking to another.

That's why I say now that I feel like I forgot there were other people in the world.

and I forgot about my pathway to a raw life style!

I have just been doing the vegetarian thing.